Frustrated Fashion Freedom Nurse in Frisco

May 25th, 2007

Dear Paw Paw:

The CEO of our hospital recently adopted a policy that all of the ED Doctors and Nurses had to abide by a Dress Code. He wants the Nurses to all wear the same colored uniforms and the Physicians to wear dress clothes and a white coat. I and the rest of the girls think this is a violation of our Civil Rights and we should have the freedom to express ourselves. Do you know a good lawyer who can sue and get us a lot of money?
Frustrated Fashion Freedom Nurse in Frisco

Dear Frustrated:

Babycakes, I think all Nurses should get their uniforms at Hooters and I could give a dead goat’s tail about what them snooty doctors wear. Frankly I don’t know why the nurses should look any different than Housekeeping, Lab, Xray, Doctors or the Registration Clerks. Yep I think they should all look like clones of that Brittney Spears chick. Let’s keep everyone guessing.

So what if patients find your nose ring, bling, tattoos and see through T-shirt from Lizard Larry’s Lounge less than professional. If you want to look like an incompetent Bozo, that is your God given right. Besides if they can’t understand you when you are doing your assessment just because you like to chew bubble gum, talk on your cell phone and play with your tongue piercing simultaneously, then that is their problem. Maybe they need to talk to Oprah or Dr. Phil and just get over it.

Of course most so called experts on customer service disagree, but what the goat dung do they know! They’ll tell you that everyone needs to look clean, well groomed, and professional. That each department should have a unique uniform that easily differentiates them from others. They have the gall to suggest that physicians should wear professional dress and a white coat. They will lead you to believe that patients actually have certain preconceived notions of what the doctor and nurse should look like. And that if you fail to meet their expectations they may feel you are less than professional in your care of them as well.

Yep your CEO is definitely an old fart with an idea that is not politically correct. You should send him off to Prison for “re-education” and collect a huge settlement from the hospital. I can’t get over the nerve of some people. I suppose he thinks you are there to satisfy patients. What a cretin. Call Sleazy Slim’s Legal and Waste Management Services at 800-555-2727 and tell Slim I sent you. Now, how about a lap dance Sweetie and can I get 10% of the cash you get from your lawsuit?
Paw Paw